Posts Tagged ‘gambling systems’
Ralph announced he had broken down and sent away for a pair of X-Ray Specs. Word spread through our neighborhood like wildfire. Every pubescent kid on the east side of Detroit had been fantasizing about owning a pair of these goggles since they'd first laid eyes on a Superman comic. Now Ralph was going to realize our fantasies.
It must have been 10 weeks before the specs came in the mail. To us it seemed like an eternity of asking Ralph day after day, "Did they come yet?" We all had big plans for those wonder glasses. As soon as we saw that Ralph's worked, we would all get some. We'd wear 'em to school. The nuns would never suspect what we were up to. We'd go watch the girls play softball. The women of Detroit were about to become unwitting exhibitionists for a gang of horny 12-year-old Catholic schoolboys in funny glasses.
To make a long story short, the X-Ray Specs didn't x-ray anything. They were ridiculous-looking cardboard and plastic gizmos that made the person wearing them look like a jerk. As Ralph described the phenomenal X-Ray power of the lenses when he slowly and reverently placed them on his eyes for the first time, "Well…urn…they just make everything look…um…blurry."
Alas, the women of Detroit were safe.
I haven't read a Superman comic in quite a few years, but it wouldn't surprise me one bit if X-Ray Specs are still being hawked to 12-year-old thrill seekers. Meanwhile, Gambling Fool magazine is publishing adult variations of this comic book advertising ("Win a Million Bucks a Day Even if you're Stupid!"). I find it amusing how these ads for "incredible and amazing" gambling systems insist that it doesn't take much effort to get rich. That's exactly who's going to fall for this nonsense—people who don't put much mental effort into anything.
If Ralph reads this ad, he'll break down and have a check in the mail before his next mortgage payment is due. Six months later, when the bank is foreclosing on his house, if you ask him how his mail order blackjack system is working, he'll say, "Well…um…you see…um…" Alas, the casinos of Vegas are safe too.
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Tags: blackjack, gambling systems, online casino